You know what rules? Making something that looks like it involved a lot of time and skill when in actuality it was easy peasy lemon squeezy with time to online shop and watch a rerun of New Girl, while getting supes deep into a Daquan 'gram hole. To my surprise, this roasted eggplant was just that. After reading up on how to avoid soggy-ass mush (soggy ass-mush?) when oven-roasting the particular nightshade, I gave it a run and decided to dress up "Middle Eastern."


Non-soggy-ass-mush roasted eggplant feat.:

-Tahini sauce: copped the recipe from master of Israeli cooking, chef Yotam Ottolenghi. Will be a staple in my household go forward.

-Pomegranates: holy shit just buy one, man/woman/gender non-binary up and do the work because IT. IS. WORTH. IT.).

-Pistachios: roasted them a bit with some olive oil and salt at 400 degrees. Burnt the first batch and was too lazy to roast another, so I mixed in some non-roasted. You can judge me. I can handle it.

-Feta: nothing compares to the feta in brine from the rather pungent but perfect Middle Eastern supermarket my family in San Diego still frequents. But the packaged brick from Trader Joe's worked just fine.

Will repeat. Will top with other random crap. Will entire eggplant in .32 seconds.


Just some emotionally supportive snacks during the cooking process.


T A H I N I  S A U C E

From JerusalemYotam Ottolenghi

Yields: about 1/2 to 3/4 cup


  • ½ cup tahini
  • ¼ water
  • 1 tablespoon lemon juice
  • ½ medium garlic clove, crushed
  • Salt to taste



  1. Combine all ingredients in a medium bowl. Whisk until combined and smooth.
  2. Salt to taste

R O A S T E D  E G G P L A N T

Method from The Kitchn

Yields: 2ish servings


  • 1 large eggplant (about 1 1/2 pounds)
  • 2 teaspoons kosher salt
  • 3 tablespoons olive oil



  1. Slice the stem end off of the eggplant, then slice the eggplant lengthwise into 1-inch-thick steaks.
  2. Lay the eggplant out on a wire rack set over a baking sheet. Sprinkle each side of the steaks with the salt and let the eggplant sit for 30 minutes. Arrange a rack in the middle of the oven and heat to 400°F.
  3. Rinse the eggplant under cool water and then dry thoroughly. Pat dry with paper towels.
  4. Transfer the eggplant to a baking sheet and spread out into a single layer. Brush olive oil onto both sides and edges of the steaks. Sprinkle a bit more salt.
  5. Roast the eggplant for 20 minutes. Flip and roast until golden-brown and tender, 15 minutes more.
  6. Plate with drizzled tahini sauce, crumbled feta, pomegranate arils, roasted pistachios, and a bit of chopped parsley.